An Experience - 14

I went to sleep last night at 10pm EST. That's 6pm AST. You'd think I would've had issues. Nope. And I woke up at 6am EST, or 2am AST. I feel great.
After waking up, I went and ran on a treadmill for the first time ever. That was an experience. Only a few times was I afraid that I was going to fall off the back. When I stopped, I felt like I was going forward.

My First Self-Portrait

Then I went to TEAM Gas day 1:

I'm fighting my for my food, primal style. Err... Rather being selective. The day began with a large breakfast in which I ate a veggie scramble, had some ham, and fruit. (provided by the conference)







Lunch was Italian sausage, Hawaiian meatballs, grilled vegetables, and Mandarin salad. I think they're over doing the diversification here... And I'm pretty sure meatballs and 'Mandarin' salad are just American ideas with "island" and "oriental" flavors respectively. The grilled vegetables were amazing; pretty much anything grilled is. In regards to the rest: maybe not the most primal, but given my other options (cheese stuffed giant pasta shells among them) I think that I did well. I read in an email regarding this conference: No one has ever gone hungry at TEAM. Hopefully this doesn't mean over-eating.

Also heard, and my which will be my piece for the day, "there are no diets at TEAM." This is what I'm up against; the battle. Amazing tasting cooking at the conference. Endless little chocolate candies in the halls. Little fruit and chocolate fudge/cheesecake looking bars. Jolly Ranchers in my hotel room. And being away from my kitchen so I can't exactly cook and prepare my own food. For the cherry on top, the day I left was fairly non-primal and I honestly don't, or didn't, know why I wanted to continue this. Grandma's cake was amazing. Rhonda's cookies were amazing. I drive by a Wendy's everyday here and think about the frosty card in my wallet.
But: NEVER    GIVE     UP
Ever.
Example: I've had a more than I want share of 'bad grades' due to my own negligence. (I say 'bad' here because of my personal standards) To me, there is no worse feeling that knowing that I could have done something to score higher. Everyone makes a big deal out of "never give up. Never back down. Never surrender" stuff, but those sayings just don't convince me not to give up. No one honestly cares if you give up. (unless it causes fatalities) But I'm convinced by knowing that I will never forget about it. It's sickening to me that just getting right past that little challenge would've been so much more rewarding.
And the phrase "what if." What if I had actually studied? (to stay on example) Forget what if. What if is a challenge. What ifs need to change to "I did." That's another motivator.
So why I am doing this: for a rewarding feeling. Will it come? I don't know. I sure hope so. But if it doesn't because I gave up, I'll know that I let it slip through my fingers.
Why did I write this: just because one professor is threatening me. I feel that if I let this grad school and job fair slip away, I gave up, and if I don't end up in a field that I enjoy, I'll always think "what if" about that fair.
My current rewarding feeling: Knowing that up to this point, I have a 3.94 - I have not failed a class ever and I am not going to start now. One test or not, I will succeed.

Tips: Search for something small that you've done and focus on it. Every once in a while we need to reflect on past victories.